Cats Rule! (all in good fun)

Cats rule! Dogs… not so much.

Here is why:

Cats are soft and fragrant. Dogs are smelly mud puddles with feet.

Cats only meow when necessary, unlike dogs, who bark FOREVER.

Cat farts are quiet, very low on the decibel level, and they actually make the air fresher. Dog farts are clouds of toxic gas that kill surrounding vegetation.

Cats don't run in circles and make goofy faces when served food; they thank you with tender body rubs against the leg, then go and eat like a normal person.

They are clean; they sometimes lick butt, but their tongues never smell butty. Dogs, on the other hand, smell exactly the same at both ends.

If a cat knocks your beer over, it's on purpose, which shows intelligence. When a dog does that, it's because he's chasing an invisible squirrel.

Cats can catch and torture fish. Dogs chase sticks and bring them back. Wow?

Cats poop carefully and without drama.

When a cat sleeps on my lap, there is warmth, balance and symmetry. Dogs balance awkwardly and fall between my legs, slobbering as they try to fit where they just won't fit.

Cats drink out of the toilet only if necessary. Dogs will drink out of a toilet with a human head in it. And they drink, and drink, and drink, [checks watch], and drink.

The only cool thing about dogs is that they aren't as cool as cats.

Cats rule!