Thursday, October 23, 2014

Poem published in 2014 Rhysling Award Anthology

Earlier this year my poem "Faerystruck Down" was nominated for a Rhysling Award in the Short Poem Category. Winners have not yet been announced, but an anthology containing all the nominated poems is currently for sale.

Paperback and PDF copies can be purchased through the Science Fiction Poetry Association website (you'll need to scroll down to the bottom of the page). Paperback copies are also available at CreateSpace. Amazon and a few other places will be selling the book soon.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Leaving the Old Us

It’s a perfect time to release our birds,
Caged for far too long and submerged in dark.
Constant fright has hurt their eyes,
Trembled the beak and silenced the song.

It’s a suitable time to drain our home,
Flooded for years and unknown to breathe.
Rising water has wrinkled its design,
Drowned the art and soaked the dreams . . .

Birds spill from waterfall windows,
Ignite their songs and fill up the trees.
Bloated sharks writhe in the sun,
Cough up the tar and spit out the bones.

Today we sail in the wake of an albatross,
Colored by sunrise and bound for the sea.
It’s an auspicious time to leave ones past,
Desalt the eye and lift the anchor.


(From the book Wilderness & Love)

Girl with the Crooked Spine

Her skin is like leather. What remains of her reddish blond hair sits in a tuft beside her mummified head. She has no arms or legs, though both her feet and right hand lay alongside her torso. The eyes deteriorated almost two thousand years ago, long before her well-preserved body was dug out of the peat in the village of Yde in Bourtangermoor, Netherlands, and placed in this traveling exhibit. She was sixteen years old the day she died, and her spine, not unlike Patrick’s, was horribly twisted by scoliosis.

Archaeologists call her Yde Girl. Patrick calls her Edie.

Propped up next to the body’s display case is a reconstruction photo, a wax head that depicts what the teen might have looked like in life. Here she has long, wavy, reddish blonde hair, an oddly high forehead, and what some might consider an intelligent yet sad countenance.

Other attractions in the Bog Bodies of Europe exhibit include Lindow Man, Tollund Man, and the Girl of the Uchter Moor, among others, each fragmented body displayed in small, personalized exhibit rooms adjoined by dim corridors.

* * *

It is a late Sunday afternoon in January. Snow accumulates outside the Field Museum in Chicago, long drifts rising across the steps of the main entrance. In the distance, Snowy Owls, on winter leave from Canada, sit on elongated water breaks, their sleepy, golden eyes scanning for ducks on the gray surface of Lake Michigan. Few cars populate the streets, and despite the storm, Patrick has come to see Edie. It’s his fourth visit.

Patrick wiggles out of his backpack, letting it slide down his left shoulder, the side of him that is slightly higher than his right. Hiding behind red bangs, he glances at Edie’s reconstruction photo, the version of her he prefers (though he does address the fragmented body now and then, so as to not seem disrespectful). He unzips his backpack, retrieves a spiral notebook.

“How are you today?” Patrick asks her shyly. “Man, there’s a really n-nasty storm out there. We almost didn’t come, but I told my mom I had to take notes for a research paper on bog bodies, and that it’s due tomorrow.” He laughs. “She has no idea I made the whole thing up! Anyway, we came here on the bus today and walked around a bit. She’s over in the gift shop now.”

Though Edie’s hardships had undoubtedly been more profound than his own, Patrick did identify with how he imagined she must have felt. Surely she had been stared at, pointed at, laughed at—all by ignorant and superstitious people that did not, or would not, understand her deformity. This deformity had probably led to her death, as it was theorized she had been brutally beaten, choked, and stabbed in a sacrifice to the gods.

Now the ancient girl’s naked remains lay exposed in wizened, leathery fragments atop a sterile white slab—a static, lonely darkness curling tightly about her glass display case. Worst of all is the frayed rope, an instrument of her death, still wrapped loosely about her neck.

“You should’ve seen it, Edie,” Patrick says, shuffling closer to the photo. “There’s this gorgeous Cecropia Moth in the entomology exhibit. It’s huge!” He shifts his torso to the right in an attempt to gain comfort in his back brace. “You know, it’s the largest saturniid—I-I mean, giant silk moth—in North America. At night, in summer, you can find them by artificial lights.”

Realizing she may not understand “artificial lights,” Patrick gestures to the track lighting over her display case.

“Most people aren’t even aware those types of moths exist. It’s kinda sad, actually.” He drops his eyes, follows a swirl in the floor pattern, then quietly adds, “Before my dad died, he used to show me all the best places to find them. That’s when I really got interested in science and stuff.”

Frowning, he bites his lower lip. “I keep trying to get my mom to go find them with me, but besides butterflies, she pretty much hates insects. She thinks they’re all going to bite her. My friend Andrew, though, he used to help me catch them all the time. He even had his own net. That was awhile ago though, before he got hooked on video games n’ stuff. So . . . I usually just go out by myself now. Kinda lame, huh?”

Edie lays silent in her display case. All is quiet but for the subdued howling of the wind over the museum.

With growing acceptance, Patrick has imagined that Edie’s presence now lingers inside the tight space of the exhibit. The presence grows stronger, more feminine—more intimate it seems—with each of his visits. And today, perhaps because the museum is virtually empty, he welcomes the feeling that she has leaned up against his crooked body and under his arm for comfort, the snowstorm blowing forcefully across the high roof. In such an atmosphere, mixed with the quietude of the museum’s closing hour, Patrick thinks he can hear her breathing within the persistent drone of the heating vents, occasionally feeling a slight flinch from her asymmetrical shoulders when a far-off door slams or a noisy child disturbs the tranquility. Her hair gives off the scent of heather, or so he imagines, and this makes him feel as if they are together in a lush, boundless moor.

“I wrote you something,” Patrick confesses, opening his notebook. “It’s nothing special, just—”

He flips to the desired page, freckled face turning a light shade of red. “Well, it’s . . . it’s sort of a poem.”

He begins to read quietly, so as to not be heard outside the thin, temporary walls of the exhibit. He struggles a bit with the title: “To a Girl from Bourt-a-an-ger-moor.”

The track lighting flickers, its low, electric hum filling the boxed-in exhibit space. Yde Girl’s reconstruction photo stares across the room as Patrick begins to read.

“For Edie, from Patrick.”

Shadows pulsate across the off-white walls, stretch and retract as the display lights continue to flicker. Patrick twists his torso, presses a free hand over his back brace. His voice grows soft.

“I am here, as a friend
a kindred soul from tomorrow
to offer my heart and mind
to a girl who knows much sorrow”

The storm howls and whips across the sky. And though the massive building seems impenetrable, a rogue wind finds its way in and wanders sharply down the marmoreal, columned halls. Floor by floor it brushes against glass cases and interpretive signs of myriad exhibits, past the Charles Knight murals, in and out of gift shop and café, through the angry skeleton of Sue the T. rex.

“Oh my gawd, Brian, this one is really gross!” A woman in her early twenties, holding hands with a guy who looks visibly exhausted by the museum, comes bounding into Yde Girl’s exhibit from the corridor. Patrick back steps into the darkness. The woman snaps a few quick, thoughtless pictures of the bog body with her cell phone and the couple giggles their way out.

Patrick sighs, shakes his head as he eases back into the weak light of the display case. “I’m so sick of people like that. Stupid, self-centered idiots—I hate them!”

For several minutes he stares into a corner, lost in thought. He turns back to Yde Girl’s reconstruction photo, admires her through the curtain of his dangling hair then says, “I’m sorry, Edie. I just get so mad sometimes. I don’t get why people have to act like that. It’s beyond rude!” He regards Edie’s fragmented remains. “And you know what else? I wouldn’t care if I never saw another human being again for as long as I live. I’m serious. There isn’t anyone else besides you that I—” He turns away, blushing. “Never mind. I’m sure you’re sick of me by now, anyway. I’ll just . . . I’ll just finish reading this stupid thing and go.”

He lifts the notebook, angles it into the light. Dust falls from the edge of the display case as a large mote floats into the darkness. He finds his place in the poem.

“I give you these words
that arose from our meeting
to help end the loneliness
that the both of us are feeling

An announcement comes over the loudspeaker, indicating that the museum will be closing in ten minutes.

“Patrick, the museum’s going to close in ten minutes.” It’s Patrick’s mother. She’s sticking her head into the exhibit.

“I know, mom. Everyone hears that announcement. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Just letting you know. We need to get going or we’ll miss the next bus.”

Her head retreats into the corridor and Patrick follows her footsteps as they move along the walls of the exhibit, going a short distance until they reach a nearby bench. He hears her sit down and rummage through her purse.

Patrick rolls his eyes. “Parents,” he says in a low voice. In the photo, Yde Girl stares off to Patrick’s left. The eye sockets of her partially collapsed head are set directly on him.

A bit unsteady on his feet, and grimacing in pain from having stood too long in one spot, Patrick supports the bulk of his weight against the display case as he recites the final lines of the poem.

“Let’s break the barrier
let’s walk hand in hand
across the moors of time & space
to a city of our own land”

A security guard approaches the exhibit as he goes about his route.

“My son’s in there,” Patrick’s mother says, pointing with one hand and snapping shut her compact with the other. “He’s taking notes for a school paper. He’ll be out in just a minute.” She smiles at the man, who responds with a lazy yawn. Outside, the blizzard presses up against the museum.

And then—pop!

Shards of broken glass crackle to the floor and echo across the museum.

The guard spins on his heel, tears a flashlight from his belt, scrambles into the exhibit. Patrick’s mother follows, slams into the man as they dead stop at the other end of the corridor. A low, rolling fog drifts past their legs. The odor of rotten peat permeates the air.

The fog, having floated out of Yde Girl’s demolished display case, starts to dissipate. Now visible on the white slab, and wobbling to a stop, is Patrick’s back brace, the rope from the bog body underneath it. Neither the boy nor Yde Girl are anywhere in sight.

Patrick’s mother screams. The security guard throws a meaty arm across her lunging body as he yells into his radio. She falls back, shouts her son’s name from the wall. The guard steps forward cautiously, shines his flashlight into each corner of the room.


Worried about the broken glass, and troubled by the realization that the display case blew apart from the inside out, he grabs the woman by the arm and pulls her out of the exhibit. No further trace of Patrick or Yde Girl was ever found.
First published in Volume 9, Issue 2 of Electric Spec.

Not for Mortal Eyes

Jen entered the lab holding two large cups of coffee. Her coworker, Edwin Aserinsky, gently set down a beaker of blue liquid and straightened his posture. “Good morning, Dr. Bensen,” he said, tapping his foot to the jazz tune “Something’s Coming” by Dave Grusin. “Ready to capture a few dreams today?” 

“Edwin, we’ve been working together for five years now. If you don’t quit with all that ‘Doctor’ nonsense, I’m going to stop bringing these fancy lattes you love so much.” She smiled and offered him one of the steaming cups. 

“Hold on,” Edwin said, “give me a moment to rewire my brain.” He took a step back, shut his eyes, and slowly repeated the word “Jen” to himself. After a few seconds he nodded and said, “There, done.” He winked and took the coffee. “Why thank you—Jen.” 

“No, thank you.” 

Jen set her cup down and reached for a lab coat hanging on the wall, wrapping it around her petite frame. She paused to wipe her thick-rimmed glasses on the stiff fabric, and Edwin glanced sideways at her, appreciating not for the first time that although she was young, she conducted herself with maturity and efficiency beyond her twenty-nine years. Her devotion to science had often evoked in him thoughts of a daughter he never had. 

“Looks like you came in early this fine Saturday morning,” Jen said, still poking fun at him for having added Saturdays to their schedule, not that she had any kind of social life she was missing out on. She paused to appreciate the lab’s flurry of activity: microscope illuminators, clunky computers, the sleep lab surveillance monitor, and of course, Edwin’s tiny radio tuned to his favorite jazz station. Coffee, jazz and science, he often said, were the only things that kept his “old butt” going. Not even marriage could compete with his unwavering goal to digitally photograph a human dream. With Jen’s help, he was almost there. 

The two had already devised a serum capable of amplifying the electrochemical pathways in a dreaming, mammalian brain. In conjunction with a prescribed dose of the blue liquid, receptors on a tiny scanner implanted near the test subject’s secondary visual cortex (the imagination center of the brain) recorded and digitized the amplified brain activity and relayed it back to the central computer; there, data were filtered through a complex program and assembled into static images. 

After nearly five years of calibrating various components, including an array of electrodes and other devices, the scientists had neared their goal of producing crisp, detailed images from a human dream, the implications of which would ultimately help unravel the mysteries of consciousness. 

“So how’s the serum shaping up?” Jen asked, clipping on her University of Chicago badge. 

“Oh, quite nicely. I think there’s a chance for optimal results by late morning.” The elder scientist handed Jen some papers scribbled with formulas and notes. “Just modify the serum as indicated here—see, at the bottom there—then we’ll run some tests before Jim gets in.” 

“Jim’s in today?” Jen sighed. “Sometimes he makes me miss the rats.” 

“We’ve come a long way from testing on rats,” Edwin said. “I for one was getting tired of endless dream captures of fuzzy maze walls and cheese.” 

“I know, I know. I was only kidding. Really. I’m glad you found him after all. It’s just . . . well, never mind.” Sensing a slight flush in her cheeks, Jen scrunched her forehead and quickly flipped through the pages of the revised serum. “Wow, this could be the one we’ve been waiting for. This could work!” And although she secretly despised jazz, her fingers snapped along with the music as she approached her work station at the other end of the lab. 

A short time later Jim Coal, their test subject, lay asleep in a dimly lit room down the hall, dozens of multi-colored electrodes webbed over his head. 

“Dr.—er, Jen, come take a look at this.” It was Edwin calling from the computer table. Jen came up behind him and leaned over his shoulder, arms folded across her chest. “What is it?” 

“That last batch of serum . . . well, here—just look.” He pointed to a slightly blurry, colorized image on the computer screen; a digital capture from Jim’s dream. “See that? Doesn’t that sort of look like—?” 

“Jim’s father!” Jen gasped. “That looks a hell of a lot like Jim Sr.” 

Edwin held up a black & white photograph from Jim’s file. It showed Jim in a Little League uniform, his father standing to his right, a possessive hand on the boy’s slumped shoulder. The man had a military presence about him. 

Jen bit her bottom lip to contain her excitement. “I can’t believe it,” she said. “This is without a doubt the best image we’ve ever gotten!” 

“The serum’s much improved,” Edwin said. “But I think we can do better.” He tapped the desk with his fingers and scrutinized the image. “Another hour or so of tweaking should do the trick.” 

Jen grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’ll go see if Jim’s willing to stay a bit longer.” She turned and rushed out the door. 

Edwin sat and further compared the man in the photograph to the one onscreen. The two images clearly showed the same person—a tall, imposing figure with broad shoulders, low cheekbones, square jaw, and close-set eyes. 

He was physically and emotionally abusive, Jim had said of his father. His mother had been too afraid to leave, and the whole town feared him; even the police kept their distance. Then one morning, as if by answered prayers, the man’s smoking corpse was discovered in the dark woods near the family home. Although the police had initially suspected foul play, a final report concluded that Jim Sr. had died of self-immolation. The cause: financial-related stress. Case closed. Things might have turned out okay for Jim had it not been for the nightmares, nightmares in which his charred father stalked him in every conceivable setting, nightmares that had grown more realistic and threatening over time. 

These same dreams had been the source of Jim’s depression and sporadic employment as an adult. When Edwin first encountered him during a late night walk about town, the man was curled up on a heap of garbage in the yellow spray of an alley light, writhing in the clutches of a nightmare. Edwin shook the man awake and consoled him, then handed him his number. Jim called a few days later, and that led to his becoming a test subject for Edwin’s project, though Edwin did fudge facts a bit in the paperwork, choosing not to reveal the man’s occasional lack of dependability and frequent benders. But it was Edwin’s inclination that Jim’s participation would not only help alleviate his vivid, ever-worsening nightmares—in conjunction with weekly therapy, of course—but that it would also offer the best possible results for the experiments because his dreams were so vivid. In light of these factors, occasional tardiness and hangovers were tolerated. 

Now, after several months of trial and error, Edwin found himself staring at a distinct image captured from the hidden realm of dream—the image of a man, standing in a sort of mist or smoke, his eyes aglow. 

* * * 

Edwin appeared at the doorway of Jen’s office around one o’clock, holding a bottle of cheap champagne and two disposable cups. Jen looked up and swallowed a bite of her sandwich. 

“Edwin! Where’d you go, man?” She shoved a romance novel beneath a messy pile of papers. A few breadcrumbs tumbled from her lower lip. “Don’t you realize how creepy it is around here when no one’s around? I thought you were going to run another test before lunch.” 

“I did, but this time I wanted to surprise you.” 

Jen put her sandwich down and glanced at the champagne. “What’s that, the secret ingredient for perfecting the serum?” 

Edwin released two quick grunts that more or less qualified as his laugh. “No, not exactly.” 

“Good news then! Well pop that sucker and tell me all about it.” 

The cap was popped, the champagne poured. Jen took her cup, and Edwin lifted his own, saying, “Well, it’s been five long years, but today—” 

“So the serum’s at optimal performance? And you got a focused image in proper color?” Jen’s face lit up like a cat watching sparrows at a birdfeeder. 

“Yes. Coupled with a larger injection, the upgraded serum worked perfectly. An image from Jim’s most recent dream came through crystal clear: his father again, though a bit monstrous this time.” He paused. “Hmm. It’s unfortunate he hasn’t been able to shake off these nightmares about his father. They’re getting worse, I believe.” 

Jen nodded sympathetically. 

“At any rate, everything syncs up now: the serum, the scanner implant, Jim’s electrochemical activity. The latest calculations are the magic formula, and we’re getting an image every three and a half seconds. When Jim returns from lunch we’ll do a full run, capture an entire dream cycle without interruption.” 

“That’s wonderful, Edwin. We’ll get hundreds of successive images!” 

And, the first usable dataset for our big paper.” Edwin raised his cup and nodded. “We’ve done it, Jen. Here’s to us. Here’s to dreams.” 

“Cliché, Dr. Aserinsky, cliché,” Jen said, clipping his cup, “but I’ll play along.” 

Edwin raised an eyebrow, hesitant to drink. “Hmm, we should probably keep our heads clear,” he said, setting his cup on a nearby shelf crammed with scientific journals. Jen raised her cup even higher. “Ah, to hell with it, we deserve it.” She winked at Edwin and gulped down the champagne. 

A deep, scratchy voice came from the doorway. “What do we have here, a celebration?” 

Jen quickly wiped her mouth. 

“Ah, Jim. Come in, come in,” Edwin said, gesturing with his arm. 

A lanky man of thirty, with dark stubble and a prematurely aged face, staggered in through the doorway. His masculine presence filled the cluttered office. 

Edwin clasped his hands together. “Glad to see you back. How was lunch?” 

“Not par-tic-u-lar-ly interesting,” Jim said, glancing at Jen. He always looked at Jen, even when answering Edwin’s questions. “My headache didn’t take much of a break.” 

“Hold on, I’ve got some aspirin,” Jen said, her voice more feminine. She bent to the lowest drawer of her desk, exposing cleavage. A glint came to Jim’s eye, one that gave the impression he was imagining her in fewer clothes. 

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” he said, still watching Jen as she returned the aspirin to the drawer. “This is what I get for sitting at the bar all night.” 

“Jim,” Edwin said, coming between them, “we’ve had an incredible breakthrough. We’re finally getting the results we’ve been hoping for! Just a few more sessions and we’ll talk about extracting that device from your secondary visual cortex. We—” 

“My what?” Jim’s eyes and mouth slid down together, as if connected. 

Edwin put a hairy-knuckled finger to the back of his own head. “Your secondary visual cortex, remember?” 

Jim rolled his eyes. “Oh yea, that. Gotcha.” 

“I know we’ve kept you in the dark for a long time now,” Edwin went on, “so as to not influence the experiments, of course, but very soon we’re going to let you in on all the details. We’ve made a magnificent breakthrough, and its implications are going to greatly impact the scientific community, if not the world.” He paused for effect. “Don’t be surprised if you find yourself quite the celebrity.” 

“Celebrity?” Jim cracked his jaw, pointing at his head. “Visual cortex, the golden fucking egg, right?” He glared at the ceiling, “Hey dad, you catchin’ this? These scientists here are gonna make me rich and famous. Did you hear that? And you never thought I’d amount to a hill of snake shit, did ya.” He snorted to himself. 

“You’re more than welcome to attend the conferences with us, too,” Jen said. “You know, to tell everyone how we forced you to be our guinea pig.” She looked at Edwin and then at Jim, a smile on her face. 

“Ah, guinea pig,” Jim said. “I like that. Much cuter than an ol’ ugly lab rat, right?” He inflated his cheeks, widened his eyes, and scratched the stubble on his chin. Jen laughed over her hand to hide one of her bottom teeth, which was crooked. 

Edwin stepped up to Jim and held out the sleeping pills he’d produced from his lab coat. The young man raised his arms in mock surrender. “Alright, alright! Jeez, you scientists—all work and no play.” He popped the pills into his mouth and swallowed them without water, then wriggled out of his black leather jacket and dumped it on a nearby chair. “I’m all yours,” he said, winking at Jen. 

* * * 

“Wake him up, wake him up!” 

Edwin was pointing and shouting as he and Jen burst into the sleep lab. Electrodes popped off Jim’s head in all directions as he thrashed around the bed. Jen ran up to his side, only to be knocked away by a wild arm, her glasses slipping off and hitting the floor. “Stay the hell away from me!” 

Edwin pushed down on Jim’s shoulders. 

“You’re burning in hell, goddammit!” Jim raged on. “You can’t hurt us any—” 

His eyes flew open. “What the hell!” 

Sweat darkened his wavy hair. 

“You were having a nightmare,” Edwin said, catching his breath. He let go Jim’s shoulders. “We’ve never seen you so upset.” 

Jen retrieved her glasses and assessed the damage. There was a small vertical crack in one of the lenses. 

“Are you okay?” Edwin asked her. 

“Yes, you?” 

“Fine, fine.” He tugged nervously at the side of his beard. “That must’ve been some dream, Jim. You’ve never reacted like that during REM sleep before.” 

Jen put her glasses back on. “I think we should call it a day.” 

Edwin rested his hands on the back of a nearby chair. “Could this have been a side effect of the serum?” 

“I don’t think so,” Jen said, “but I’ll look into it.” 

Jim labored to sit up, his eyes furtive and glossed over. He shook his head, pursing his lips to release a loud exhale. “He’s coming for me. The fucker’s coming for me, and he ain’t gonna stop. I need to get the hell out of here. I need a drink.” 

“That’s not a good idea, Jim,” Edwin said. “You need to take it easy for a few minutes. And who? Who’s coming for you? Your father?” 

Jim squinted and slowly rolled his eyes up at Edwin. “You know what? Maybe you could do me the honor of leaving me the hell alone for awhile. Seriously, I don’t need a fucking therapy session right now.” 

Edwin backed off. “Alright Jim, we’re going. Take as much time as you need. But come find us as soon as you’re ready. I’d like to conduct another test or two while we’ve still got you here. Okay?” 

Jen shot Edwin a look, but the scientist had already turned to leave. 

“We’re going to help you through this,” Jen added, putting her hand on Jim’s shoulder. “We’re going to help you get better.” The man shook his head and stared down at the floor. 

* * * 

Back in the main lab, the scientists prepared to scroll through a series of incoming images, each a digitized slice of Jim’s recent nightmare. Jen opened her notebook. 

The first image revealed a woman bathing inside what appeared to be a very large, horizontally-severed cactus. “Oh my god, is that me?” Jen squinted at the screen. “Shit. How embarrassing.” 

Edwin didn’t know what to say, so he remained silent on the matter. 

Jen focused on the oversized breasts. “Well, at least he compliments me.” Her face reddened as she took notes: 

IMG-5800: Dr. Jen Benson bathing nude inside top of large, horizontally-severed cactus in desert landscape. 

IMG-5801: Water in cactus has turned red. Is this blood? 

IMG-5802: Hundreds of fissures shooting out from base of cactus in all directions. 

IMG-5803: Entire image appears to be engulfed in flame. 

IMG-5804 to 5806: Dark box suspended in space. 

IMG-5807: Inside a black room (inside box?), stars and galaxies visible through transparent floor, walls, and ceiling. 

IMG-5808: Blurry, human-like figure curled up in far corner, heart and veins visible through skin, fire spread across bottom of transparent floor. 

Jen pointed at the figure. “That looks like a child.” 

Edwin pulled at his beard as he waited for the next image. 

IMG-5809: Entire image has the appearance of fire again. 

IMG-5810 & 5811: Bluebird on charred wooden floor in an odd “courtship dance”—its wings extended forward. 

“This dream is much more vivid than his recent ones,” Edwin said, “and the symbolic imagery quite chaotic and random. Something very interesting is going on with Jim today.” He glanced at the video monitor. Jim still had his head drooped between his shoulders. 

IMG-5812: Bluebird lifeless, its body twisted in two directions as if mutilated by invisible hands. 

“Ew, that’s not nice.” Jen grabbed a can of soda off the table and cracked it open. 

IMG-5813: Inside black room again, figure now standing in center, appears to be an adult, flames still visible beneath transparent floor. 

IMG-5814: Figure closer, resembles a young Jim Coal, looks frightened, small gun in right hand, red gasoline can in left. 

IMG-5815: Jim standing at edge of woodland with items from previous image. 

IMG-5816: Entire shot composed of flames. 

IMG-5817 to 5819: Jim smiling (maybe crying), floating in space with hundreds of white butterflies spiraling around him. 

Edwin touched Jen’s arm. “Look at this one,” he said. “See the time here? This is when he got upset.” IMG-5820: Jim’s mouth open as if screaming, butterflies on fire, trees burning in background. 

IMG-5821: Close-up of Jim Coal Sr. (Jim’s deceased father) taking up entire frame, eyes bright yellow with red pupils. 

“This is turning horrific!” Jen said. 

Edwin’s eyebrows shot up. “I know, it’s fascinating!” 

IMG-5822 & 5823: Image blurry and unrecognizable. 

IMG-5824: Another close-up of Jim Sr.’s face, seemingly angry. 

IMG-5825: Image blurry and unrecognizable. 

The images continued to switch between the blurry and angry close-ups of Jim Sr., representing nearly fifteen seconds of dreamtime. 

IMG-5830 (last image before test subject woke up): Another close-up of Jim Sr.’s face, bordered by fire, mouth wide open and full of sharp teeth. 

Jen dropped her pencil. The computer started beeping. 

“Edwin, a new set of images is coming through!” 

They both turned to the video monitor. Jim was thrashing around on the bed again. “Dammit! He must’ve dozed off.” Edwin jumped to his feet. “Jen, you stay here and get this data saved to the external hard drive, and keep recording the sleep lab. I’ll go help him.” 

“Edwin, be careful!” 

The scientist nodded and took off down the hall. Jen wheeled herself in front of the computer and clicked on the window of incoming images. The first revealed a dark, broad-shouldered figure in an ember-colored haze. The figure materialized as she clicked ahead, its close-set, red and yellow eyes seeming to glare through the receptors of the tiny scanner in Jim’s brain. The figure broke forward with each successive image, by degrees becoming the distorted physiognomy of Jim’s father. Then, without warning, it took on the gruesome aspect of an archetypal demon. 

Jen gasped and knocked over her soda. 

Trembling, she continued to click through the images, watching in horror as the creature lurched out of frame, then reappeared a few frames later dragging a person, dragging Jim, toward a now visible pit of fire. It raised the man high over its head, then tossed him carelessly into the pit with an image-by-image eruption of flame. 

A long, terrible scream echoed from down the hall. 

Jen jumped up. “What the—!” 

Movement in the sleep lab caught her eye: there, in pulsating laboratory light on a blood-soaked bed, lay Jim’s contorted, lifeless body, a frayed hole where his face used to be. At his side, covered in sizzling chunks of gore, stood the hairless, seven-foot tall demon from his dream, wisps of steam rising off a naked, bluish gray body. Seething red and yellow eyes danced in their sockets, while black, human-faced worms slithered maggot-like around its limbs. A grotesquely oversized mouth, with lips rolled back to expose an overabundance of sharp teeth, snapped at the air. By the time it turned to the camera and spoke, Jen had already left her chair. 

“Not for mortal eyes!” it snarled. And then, with a swipe of its hand, the video feed went to static. 

“Oh my god—Edwin!” Jen ran to the door, peered sharply down the hall. There the demon burst through the swinging doors like a rogue tank, its muscular, bluish gray arms spread to the walls, fingers setting them ablaze. Edwin stumbled out behind it and fell to the floor as smoke billowed from the laboratory. Not seeing Jen, the demon entered another lab and could be heard destroying it. Jen bolted from the doorway and ran up to Edwin, who got to his feet and fell against her, clutching at her lab coat. “Our data!” he whispered harshly, balancing himself. “I’ve got to save our data!” 

They sprinted back to the main lab, their voices hushed. 

“Edwin, we need to get out of here! That thing’ll kill us!” 

“No, Jim’s the one it came for. It didn’t touch me!” 

“What the hell is it?” 

“Jim’s father. Something. I don’t know. It just burst out of him and grew. From where, I don’t know. But we’ve seen too much, Jen. We’ve seen too much and it’s going to destroy everything!” He peered down the hall, his eyes frantic. “You get out of the building, call for help! I’ll grab the hard drive and catch up. Go!” He turned and ran into the lab. 

Jen followed. 

The demon came up behind her. 

As she spun around in defense, Jen lost her balance and fell against the computer table. The demon charged her like an angry hog, only to be blasted across the face with the expellant from a fire extinguisher. It was Edwin, flames rising up his arm from having brushed against the creature. Jen shot to the right and maneuvered along the wall, holding her breath as waves of heat assaulted her from the doorway. There she paused beneath the billowing smoke as sprinklers rained over the roaring flames. 

Edwin ripped off his lab coat and made a second dash for the computers. The demon, now a few steps ahead, pulled the human-faced worms off its body and flung them at the equipment. Wriggling, they burst through the hardware with their grotesque heads and slithered inside, sending out sparks and smoke from the holes. 

Edwin cursed. 

The demon spun around, sneered, got down in the man’s face. “Not for mortal eyes,” it hissed, inhaling hot saliva through its blue-gray teeth. Then, with a sharp crack of its jaw, the voice turned into that of Jim Sr.: “Tell anyone what you saw today, and I’ll haunt you and that fucking whore for the rest of your lives. Got that?” 

Edwin turned from its sulfuric breath and coughed. The demon laughed repulsively, then stepped past him and slogged its way back through the smoke-filled hallway to Jim’s body. There it shrank and climbed into what remained of the man’s splattered head. 

Meanwhile, Jen groped her way back to Edwin, locked arms with him as they sped toward the back exit. Moments later they stumbled from the building into the flashing lights of emergency vehicles. When the paramedics came running, she pulled Edwin close. 

“Only keep the data prior to this afternoon,” she said quickly, her voice trembling. “Okay? Destroy the rest!” Coughing, she pulled the hard drive out of her lab coat and pushed it into Edwin’s hands. He stared at it blankly. 

“Promise me!” Jen snapped. 

Edwin flinched, his fingers gripping the device. “You did it, Jen! You saved our data!” His face and beard were covered in soot. 

“Promise me,” Jen repeated, still coughing. She locked onto his bloodshot eyes, tears in her own as she thought about Jim. “Because what if next time, that awful thing comes for us?” 

Edwin watched as long arcs of water disappeared into the glowing inferno of the research building, smoke rising into the passing clouds. He managed a tired but affirmative nod. “I promise,” he said, placing a hand on Jen’s shoulder. She smiled weakly, and they embraced. 

As the paramedics pulled them apart and helped them onto the ambulance, Edwin grew silent and clutched the hard drive tightly against his chest. At no point did he feel the black worm coiled around his left shin. 


First published in Issue 5 (June 2014) of Disturbed Digest.

Emily's Meadow

“I see it!”

Emily’s eyes dart from the rearview mirror back to the wet road ahead. “Shit! What do I do?”

Lana, Emily’s older sister, turns to peer out the back window. The sky is sickly yellow but for a black tornado spinning beneath a mass of rainclouds. Snake-like branches of lightening strike the earth and blast a power line. Faint beneath the storm’s din, a monotone siren blares out of some nearby town and echoes across the cornfields.

“Keep driving!” yells Lana. “We’ll outrun it!”

Emily points. “Look!”

Dozens of cars sit abandoned along the shoulders on both sides of the highway, doors open, adults and children running through the rain and throwing themselves into ditches.

“Should we stop and follow those people? We’re going to get blown off the road!”

“No! Try to reach the next overpass! We’ll be safer if we get beneath an overpass. Seriously, I’ve heard of people doing that.”

“Okay!” Emily steps on the gas, eyes locked on the rain-swept highway, her Prius jumping to sixty-five, then seventy miles an hour.

The funnel roars behind them with increasing speed. Trees are yanked out like loose teeth and sucked into its rotation. It advances along the highway, flinging people from the ditches—their helpless bodies landing in distant lawns and parking lots. Others are inhaled directly into the tornado’s belly.

“Hurry! It’s getting close!”

Emily swerves to avoid a billboard that tears across the highway in front of them, its advertisement upside down.

“Seriously Em! Gun it!”

“I know! I know! Look, there’s an overpass just up ahead!” She weaves around an abandoned car, trying her best to keep from sliding off the road. An out-of-control flock of birds comes within inches of the windshield. Wind and debris assault the car.

Lana puts a hand on her sister’s leg. “Em, listen to me. As soon as we get to the overpass, jump out of the car and follow me up the slope. We need to get way up underneath of it, okay?”

Emily stares straight ahead. “OK, got it.”

Thirty seconds later she hits the breaks and they skid to the shoulder. Seatbelts fly; coats are snatched from the backseat. After sprinting up the concrete slope, the sisters huddle beneath the overpass as the wind pounds their bodies and whips their hair, the weather siren nearly inaudible.

Wind-pressed tears stick to Emily’s cheeks. “Oh god, we’re going to die! We’re never going to see mom and dad again!”

Lana pulls Emily tight against her body. “We are not going to die, Em. You hear me? You hear me?

Just then a large, sharp object plows into Emily’s shoulder, tearing her coat. As she shrieks in pain, Lana pushes her to the ground and gets on top of her like a shield. Overhead, the concrete rumbles and cracks violently.

Neither hears their own screams as the tornado sideswipes the bridge.

* * *

It’s a summer day. Meadowlarks sing from distant fence posts. Emily is lying in a meadow of green grass and purple coneflower. She’s remembering back to when she was ten, and Lana twelve, to the day they chased each other through Mr. Dupree’s backyard, picking violets for their curly blonde hair. She can smell the vegetable gardens, the magnolia trees, can feel the warmth of that day over her skin. She remembers how the old man came bursting out of his back door, cussing and turning red. And she remembers her and Lana hiding behind a row of lilac bushes, giggling into their tiny hands. Later they had skipped through a meadow—this meadow—and lay in the grass after an hour spent kicking dandelions.

Something snakes through the grass and takes Emily’s hand. The touch is familiar.

“Lana, look!” says Emily, suddenly ten years old again, pointing to a yellow and black butterfly flitting overhead. It glides down and lands on the strap of Lana’s dress, the same dress she wore all those years ago on that summer day.

Emily turns on her side to greet her sister; but there is no face, only a flickering broadcast of Lana’s countenance at different ages, from childhood on.


The faces stop flickering and Lana is twelve years old. Emily smiles to see the younger version of her older sister. “Wasn’t today fun?” says Emily, her voice that of a little girl. She can taste lemonade on her teeth.

“The best,” agrees Lana.

“Then let’s stay forever. Never, ever leave.” Emily twirls her hair.

Just then, a luminous white light appears in a nearby patch of coneflower. Lana morphs back to her current age of twenty. “Em,” she whispers solemnly.


A gust of wind blows the butterfly off Lana’s dress. The coneflowers sway.

“The tornado.”

Emily lets go of Lana’s hand and sits up, the youthful glow fading from her eyes, her voice eighteen again. “It . . . killed us, didn’t it.” The light holds her attention as she speaks the words.

Lana sits up, for a moment seems to hear something off in the distance. “I think it’s happening right now.”

“But . . . but what about mom and dad? What about . . . college? Our boyfriends? What about our lives? We can’t die, not now!”

“If that’s what this is,” says Lana, “then I doubt we have much choice.” She offers her hand. “C’mon Em, walk with me. Maybe it’s not what it seems. Let’s go find out.”

Emily recoils from Lana like a frightened animal. “No!”

Three figures appear inside the light, one a small boy. Lana smiles at them, almost trancelike, points to the boy. She begins to tear up. “Em, look! Look who’s here!”

Emily shakes her head defiantly. “I don’t care. I’m not ready!”

The wind picks up suddenly and the light shimmers. The meadowlarks go silent.

“Can’t we just stay awhile longer?” asks Emily, ignoring the light.

Lana jumps to her feet, brushes the grass off her jeans. A large storm rolls in from the west, its unbroken shadow flooding the sunlit meadow. Lana watches it, her face growing stern. “Em, I know this is your favorite place in the whole world—it’s mine too—but . . . but it isn’t real.” She pauses, gives her sister a hard look as if taking on the role of their mother. “Emily, this is a transitional space. Do you understand?” She looks back at the fast-approaching storm. “It’s time for us to go!”

Emily drops her head, clutches at the grass with both hands, shoulders heaving as she begins to sob. Overhead, the sky turns sickly yellow. Storm and shadow loom closer and closer; flowers and grass buckle beneath the wind. When two or three bolts of lightning simultaneously crack the sky, images of the tornado blast through Emily’s mind. She shudders violently.

“Time’s running out, Em,” yells Lana from inside the fading white light. The human shapes gather about her. “Please, please understand. You need to come with us or you’ll be stuck here!”

“No! I can’t!”

Emily scrambles to her feet and rushes off in the opposite direction, her long hair blowing wildly. Just then, a ten foot tornado rises up and takes chase. It launches a tentacle of dusty air at her feet, yanks and slams her to the ground with a violent thud. Sharp blades of grass pelt her across the face. She is dragged, kicking and screaming, toward the swelling cloud. Then, with spinning rage, the twister whips itself down like a snake and latches onto her head. The meadow falls out from beneath it, revealing an aerial view of cornfields, flattened homes, and a road littered with cars and uprooted trees.

Now the funnel spins along the ground, gurgling debris as it swallows the writhing girl. It vanishes in a burst of light.

* * *

A few miles to the west, under blue skies, a white orb pops into existence over an earthbound meadow. There it zips around in circles before settling down in a patch of purple coneflower.

A meadowlark flies up to a fence post and starts to sing.
First published in Volume 4, Issue 17 of Schlock! Webzine.